WE. DON’T. CONTROL. THE. PRICES.
We hate cleaning up trash.
No one wants to pick up literal garbage for MINIMUM WAGE. Please throw your trash away, just like you do at every other establishment in existence.
We hate turning away teens…
We were kids once too, but selling R-rated tickets to an underage person is actually a fireable offense.
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…and carding adults.
You might be old enough to drink, but you have a young face and we need to be sure. Just take the compliment, because you will be old one day.
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We hate having to work every Friday and Saturday night.
Don’t even bother inviting a movie theater employee to a weekend event.
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We love making work friends.
You form a very special, lifelong bond with people once you’ve cleaned bathrooms together.
We hate working on holidays.
Christmas is the busiest day of the year and we’re REQUIRED to work for no extra pay.
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We love catching bootleg recorders.
We may not care if you sneak in food, but we are ON ALERT for people trying to record the movies. If we catch you, we get more money than we normally make in one shift.
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We hate when people comment on the prices.
Have you not been to a movie in 15 years? Not only are these prices the norm, but none of us chose to make them that high.
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We hate giving the rewards card pitch.
You might hate getting the rewards card pitch, but not nearly as much as we hate giving it.
We love the free popcorn and soda.
Employees eat and drink for free ALL DAMN DAY. Customers, you’re literally paying for the cup and the bag.
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We hate making hot food.
Listen, it’s on the menu so you’re free to order it, but the convection ovens are a nightmare.
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We hate when someone asks for half a popcorn, butters the middle, and brings it back to be filled up.
First of all, you’re slowing down the line. Second of all, you’re drowning in sludge.
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We hate when people joke about the soda sizes.
You are not the first person TODAY to make a pee joke, sir.
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We hate closing concessions and then opening it again the next day.
No one likes a close-to-open in any job, but washing down popcorn scoopers at 1 a.m. only to have to dirty them again at 9 a.m. is a miserable process.
We hate the opening weekends of huge movies.
It’s nonstop madness.
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We love free posters, standees, and occasional swag.
Here I am, very excited about the Die Hard 5 bus shelter I had just claimed (this was obviously before I saw the movie).
We hate when people walk out of the movie and immediately spoil it.
We love movies too, so be mindful when you’re exiting the theater. I found out the end of The Dark Knight Rises this way, and I’m still bitter.
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We hate when people complain about the temperature.
None of us has the ability to change the temperature. If someone says they’ll fix it, they’re lying. Bring a sweater.
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We love putting too many pretzels and hot dogs on the warmer toward the end of the night, knowing there will be extras.
If you play it right and play it cool, the managers will let you take the leftovers.
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We hate counting the inventory.
It’s unclear what is worse: having to count out EVERY SINGLE popcorn bag and candy item, or knowing that your manager is just going to recount it all when you’re done.
We hate when people call for showtimes.
This isn’t 1998. USE THE INTERNET.
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We hate when people hook up in the theaters.
The only thing worse than catching a couple going at it is catching a chronic masturbator. Seriously, movie theaters are DISGUSTING and you shouldn’t let your body parts anywhere near the floors or seats.
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And, of course, we LOVE the free movies.
THIS IS WHY WE’RE HERE!
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