Remember when the gamers were upset about the OG Mass Effect 3 using a stock photo of an attractive human woman to reveal what fan-favorite Quarian Tali looks like unmasked? Well, apparently developer BioWare wants you to forget about all that because, alongside patching Tali’s portrait into something less Getty in Mass Effect Legendary Edition, the game maker is now selling merch of her updated, unmasked portrait.
The Mass Effect Tali Zorah Framed Photo Replica is exactly as advertised on the tin: a metal frame with a brutalist acrylic window, and a tasteful portrait print of one Tali’Zorah vas Normandy for $30 USD. To the uninitiated, a photo of an attractive alien lady may seem pretty rudimentary in comparison to other, more showy BioWare products like a Garrus Vakarian body pillow, but the photograph holds a lot of weight for some who romanced Tali in BioWare’s remastered space trilogy.
In case Tali-lovers needed some IRL romance flavor text to convince them to add her replica photo to their cart, the product’s description page features a love letter from the purple humanoid alien gal.
As you may remember, I presented this picture frame to you as a gift on the Normandy. It was my way of expressing my admiration for you and our bond as comrades-in-arms. On the back of the metal frame, I’ve emblazoned a promise that will never fade – Shepard, wherever you go, I’m with you.’
I know it’s not much, but…this is what I look like under the mask. I’m sorry if it’s not what you were expecting. I know Quarian faces can be a bit…different. Every time you look at my picture, I hope you will be reminded of our adventures on the Normandy, from our battles against the Reapers to our intimate conversations in the privacy of our quarters.
I am not one to express my emotions openly, but thank you for being my friend, my confidante, and my inspiration. I look forward to many more adventures together.
I bet Tali got that last line from those space telenovelas she loves so much. Nerd.
As a Quarian, Tali must walk the galaxy wearing a skin-tight plug suit and a face mask so foreign germs from, say, grimy humans like Commander Shepard don’t get them fatally ill. This is why Tali goes above and beyond in preparing her immune system for the worst just so she can be close to Shepard (the male-presenting version) during their romance in Mass Effect 2 and 3.
Now that I’ve effectively secured myself my very own Tali photo, I hope Mass Effect fans like myself will receive more updates about the series’ upcoming fourth game sooner rather than later. It’s been two years since the ME4 announcement, BioWare, and we’ve run out of fan theories about whether or not Shepard is back. My plate beckons. Keelah se’lai.