You silly fans. All these years arguing over things you thought were important, like specs, and libraries, and exclusives, and controllers, wasted. Not once have you considered the most crucial thing about a video game console: how good it looks.
Who cares if it’s stuck on a shelf, or crammed in an entertainment unit, or that in the dark all you’re going to see are its status lights! An ugly console is a terrible console. What really matters is that you want to be able to welcome people into your home, and without even having to explain processing power or memory size have them think, phew, that looks like a tremendously powerful and/or exciting and/or fun piece of kit.
Which is horribly superficial, yes, but this is an entirely superficial list, so let’s just run with it.
Over the past four decades, there have been some plain consoles, sometimes even some ugly consoles, but we don’t care about them today. Today, we celebrate the best-looking video game consoles (no handhelds) of all time, for whatever the reason.