The Internet Wants To Get Murdered By Clue’s Sexy New Cast

Earlier this week, Hasbro released a new version of Clue, its classic, 75-year-old murder mystery board game. While the game is still played the same, the characters and artwork have been changed to better connect with players in 2023. And it seems the artists at Hasbro succeeded because the internet is now very horny for the new cast of potential murderers.

Clue, known as Cluedo in the UK, is a popular board game first released in the late 1940s that pits a group of six players against each other as they try to solve the murder of Mr. Black. To do this, they roll dice and find clues while exploring a mansion. Eventually, someone shouts something like “It was Professor Plum in the ballroom with a candlestick” and everyone grumbles about how that one smart friend of yours always figures it out first. But now, the latest version of the game takes a page from recent murder mysteries like Glass Onion and has made everyone in the game very sexy, with the internet particularly obsessed with the new Chef White.

Chef White is a fresh twist on a classic Clue character, Mrs. White. The original Mrs. White was often depicted as an older maid or housekeeper. This time, however, the character is a younger-looking chef with white, undercut hair, tattoos, and punk boots. And as you might expect, a lot of people are very into this new character. Many even want to be killed by her, with “stepped on” being the most popular option for cause of death.

But let’s not ignore that nearly every one of these new characters seems to have horny fans on Twitter. There’s truly a little something for everyone at this murder party/orgy. A lot of folks are pointing out that Miss Scarlett and Colonel Mustard, in particular, seem like the couple across the bar that’s very into your vibes if you get what I’m saying. (In that humorous scenario, the two are a couple and want to fuck you.)

I mean, hell, even Mr. Monopoly himself agrees that Colonel Mustard is hot.

This new hot version of Clue is available now via Walmart and Amazon. Invite some friends over, share some wine and let the sexy cast of Clue do terrible things to each other for your entertainment. Sounds like a good night to me.