9652 Mockingbird Drive
Omaha NE 68124
402 592 3230
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| Here goes nothing |
There’s pretty much not a day that goes by where I’m not asked if I’ve ever have tried the wings at (fill in the blank). Sometimes I have, and sometimes I add it to my “Places I’ll eventually get to when I’m not being a lazy bastard” list. That list gets longer by the day, just FYI.
It just so happens that Perry’s Place has been on that list for quite some time, and I was out that way after getting stood up for a Dr’s appointment (how does that happen?) so I figured what the hell…let’s give it a try.
In all fairness, I have had the wings here one other time and don’t really remember walking away with the greatest of impressions of them. But…let’s just say I’ll never forget THIS experience.
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| Food comes from that barely open window. |
In case you forgot how I rate wings (because I just forgot and had to look it up) there are a total of 5 categories. And a potential to receive 10 points in each category for a grand total of 50 points. Here’s the mostly complete list of all the HitThatDive Wing Reviews.
Okay Perry’s Place…you’re up!
First Impressions:
First off…looking at the giant novelty over-sized menu clearly printed by Quality Brands…the wings here are listed under “Appetizers & Sides”. In my opinion, wings are neither and should have their own place on every menu. That’s just me being picky.
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| GIANT MENU |
They took about 15 minutes to come from the kitchen, so that’s always a good sign in my book. They from behind a barely opened window below a sign that says “Perry’s Kitchen” out they came.
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| Soup’s on! |
Ummmmm…well. Okay. I didn’t see “wing soup” on that gigantic menu. But yet, here are eight oddly shaped wings in a bowl swimming in what I assume is sauce. No celery. No extra bowl.
I can’t totally write these off just yet…but we’re not off to a great start.
Total: 4 out of 10
*On a side note, Perry’s Place already beat out LaVista Keno
Sauce:
Well, there sure is a lot of it. Like…a ton. Like…what the hell was someone thinking? There easily was enough sauce in the bottom of that bowl for several orders of wings. I felt like Moses parting the Red Sea of wings just to keep them on the sides of the bowl and not get too soggy.
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| I MAY be being over-dramatic |
For as much sauce as they dumped all over these things…it didn’t have all that much of a taste to it. It certainly didn’t really have a hot sauce taste to it all and seems more like watery red vinegar. There was the occasional hint of flavor…but on a taste to amount of sauce ratio…it was like 10,000 to 1.
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| I tried to save this guy from the Red Sea |
Total: 3 out of 10
Size:
Let’s just cut to the chase on this one…these were some of the most oddly shaped “chicken” wings I’ve ever seen. These things were so ugly they could have been a modern art masterpiece! I’m not sure how wings get this deformed? The flats were decent enough size-wise and weren’t all THAT deformed.
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| Is that a red bass? |
But the drummies were huge and looked like something you use to beat on a kettle drum. Plus the fact that last two were so huge and oddly shaped that I wasn’t sure if I should even try and eat them.
But, me being me, you know that I at least gave it a go. I attempted to eat one and quickly realized that I would have had a better chance of chewing on a super ball than I would trying to consume any part of this wing. But I did try!
Total 4 out of 10
Crispy:
I just knew this was going to be a losing battle based on the Red Sea of vinegar sauce so, this is going to be a hard one to give an accurate score. You know, because of the odd nature of how they were shaped, there were some crispy little bits to gnaw on…almost like the wing equivalent of burnt ends.
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| Crispy-ish |
They weren’t horribly cooked for the most part, but again, with wings this size the giant mutant pieces never are as well-cooked as the more uniform somewhat smaller pieces.
Were they crispy? I guess I can’t say that they weren’t…if that makes any sense at all. You know, for the most part, they were cooked fairly well…just too damn big and too much sauce to give the right amount of crunch.
Total: 7 out of 10
Extras:
I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again. There is NEVER a reason not to get a 10 in this one. But no celery…no extra bowl….if you’re a bar or restaurant that serves wings…that should be mandatory. There were enough extra napkins and blue cheese….so this one wasn’t a total loss.
Have to deduct 2.5 points for each missing thing. Sorry…rules are rules.
Total: 5 out of 10
Final Score: 23 out of 50
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| Had to tap out. |
I hate to sound like a total dick when I write these things so here’s a few suggestions. One: EASY ON THE SAUCE. You just want the wings coated with a little extra and then tossed in a bowl. Not dump pints of sauce on top with a soup ladle.
Two: To the best that you can…see about smaller wings. It will make the cook’s job that much easier to send quality wings out of the window.
Three: Zip that sauce up with some Frank’s!
Four: Pay attention to the extras.
These weren’t the worst ever…so that’s good I suppose. Will I ever order them again? No. But, I know a lot of people that swear by the wings here…so always keep in mind this is always just one kuncklehead’s opinion.
Scuba Steve
